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Archive for June, 2012

Oh, my. This looks like it actually might be good:

“I am the Law!”

Love it.  😀

Courtesy of Duane Lester

 

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Surreal, kitschy, yet who can argue with Raquel Welch dancing in a bikini?

I imagine the backing dancers kept telling themselves “It’s okay. I’m being paid for this and no one will know who I am under this mask…”

 

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Forget George Romero. This is going full-blown Cthulhu:

Swedish professor ‘cuts off wife’s lips and eats them’

A Swedish professor cut off his much younger wife’s lips with a knife and ate them because he believed she was having an affair, according to a report.

Swedish daily Aftonbladet said the unidentified man, an associate professor at Sweden’s prestigious Karolinska Institute, is behind held in police custody on suspicion of attempted murder.

“He cut off her lips and ate them,” a source close to the case told the Swedish newspaper, according to Agence France-Presse. “He doesn’t seem to regret anything. He thinks she is the one who has offended him.”

I’ve heard of Swedish Fish, but “Swedish lips?”

Sadly, his bride may not recover from the damage. Can you imagine the reconstructive surgery needed? At least he didn’t eat her face.

And you’ll no doubt be surprised to learn the professor was ordered into a psychiatric evaluation. The fools. Lovecraftian ghouls aren’t bound by our feeble notions of sanity.

Or maybe it’s the tcho-tcho people, instead…

h/t to Political Math

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I often say the American military has all the best toys, but, well, this flying machine gun –and bomb!– is pretty danged cool.

Slight language warning:

I really could have used one of these last night.

Now, if we could only combine it with the cat-copter

hat-tip to The Jawa Report

 

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Red beans, rice, and braiiinnnssss!

Great, now they’re chewing face in Louisiana:

A 43-year-old Louisiana man was arrested after biting off part of his neighbor’s face over the weekend, and critics fear that the incident could be among the growing list of recent cannibal attacks potentially linked to “bath salt” drugs.

Carl Jacquneaux, who police say was “under the influence of some kind of drug,” arrived at Todd Credeur’s home where he violently assaulted him “over a domestic issue,” according to Gawker.com.

Credeur, who was left with a chunk of flesh torn from below his left eye, was able to escape from further injury after spraying his attacker’s face with Wasp spray.

“During the attack, the suspect bit a chunk of the victim’s face off,” said Scott Assistant Police Chief, Kert Thomas, adding that the gruesome attack is “very unusual” and “not something we see [every day].”

Sure, uh-huh. It’s “just a drug case.” Drugs that make people eat face! (And maybe carve themselves up for use as weapons?) No need to worry, everything’s under control…

Somewhere in a secret mega-PharmCorp lab, probably near Miami, a hysterical assistant is confronting his profits-at-all-cost boss:

“It was experimental! It was supposed to be under tight security! We weren’t ready for human trials… WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!” 

Happens every time.

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“I am tho coming back to haunt you for thith!”

Well, what else are you going to do when your beloved cat gets killed by a passing car, except turn it into a helicopter:

Many animal lovers find it hard to part with their pets when they die.

So when cat Orville, named after the famous aviator Orville Wright, was run over by a car, his artist owner decided to turn him into a permanent piece of artwork as the ultimate tribute by transforming him into a flying helicopter.

Dutch artist Bart Jansen first stuffed Orville before teaming up with radio control helicopter flyer Arjen Beltman to build a specially-designed flying mechanism to attach to the cat.

The end result, named the Orvillecopter, is now on show at the Kunstrai art festival in Amsterdam where visitors can watch Orville flying for themselves.

And here’s the video:

Now, if he would only arm it with Hellfire missiles…

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Craaaab caaaakesss!

So first it was Florida, then New Jersey, and now Maryland. I’m telling ya, it’s time to stock up on those emergency supplies:

The 21-year-old college student allegedly told detectives that he hadn’t just killed the man who’d lived with his family for months, but had eaten his heart and portions of his brain. The victim’s severed head and hands were found in the men’s Harford County home; more remains were left in a trash container outside a church.

Authorities outlined the macabre circumstances Thursday in charges against Alexander Kinyua, an electrical engineering major at Morgan State University and member of his school’s ROTC program, of first-degree murder in the death of 37-year-old Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, a Ghanaian national and a former master’s degree student.

Kinyua’s father reported that Agyei-Kodie went missing last Friday after going for a jog, but the investigation eventually led back to the family home. Kinyua was being held Thursday without bond, and authorities were exploring whether others participated in the crime or knew about it, based on what they called inconsistencies in statements made by the suspect’s family.

Harford authorities said the killing was among the most brutal — and bizarre — they’d seen. The case comes on the heels of grisly incidents in Miami — where a naked man believed to be high on synthetic drugs known as “bath salts” ate another man’s face — and New Jersey, where a man disemboweled himself and reportedly threw his intestines at police officers.

Harford County Sheriff Jesse Bane said of the allegations against Kinyua: “I’ve been with the agency 40 years, and I would say this is the first time I can remember … where someone was placed under arrest in Harford County and as part of his crime he consumed the victim.

“I’ve not encountered that in this county, and I hope we never encounter it again,” he added.

Sorry Sheriff Bane. It’s only just begun.

Can’t wait for them to get to Congress; they’ll feel right at home.

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