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Archive for March, 2015

Remember, they're paying for this.

Remember, they’re paying for this.

(Photo credit: ABC/Barcroft Media/Landov)

First it was cuddle prostitution therapy, now it’s a place where adults can go to pretend they’re in nursery school again — and pay for the privilege of acting like toddlers:

The Brooklyn-based Preschool Mastermind, as it’s called, is a preschool-type experience for adults. No, really. And according to its founder, there’s show-and-tell, arts-and-crafts such as finger paint, games (think musical chairs) and even naps.

“I realized all the implications of what we learn in preschool,” said founder Michelle Joni, who said she went to school for childhood education and always wanted to be a preschool teacher. “People come here and get in touch with their inner child. It’s magical.”

(…)

Adult preschool — not unlike New York City’s preschool’s for children, doesn’t come cheap. Payment for the class is on a sliding scale ranging from $333 to $999. Joni said that “preschool is all about choice. I want them [the students] to feel good about the choice they’re making.”

I’m not so sure how good I’d feel about myself for paying almost a thousand dollars to finger-paint and take naps. I can do that at home for free.

Oh and, yes, there are “Parent-Teacher” meetings.

Next week there’s a field trip. Then the last week of class is “parent day” when the students bring two adults of their choice to class. One woman is actually bringing her parents.

Some people’s daughters grow up to raise a family and have a career. Maybe a doctor, a small business owner, a senator. Others hit their twenties and decide they miss preschool. I bet her parents are just thrilled.

What am I saying? This is New York City, where diaper-less babies are a thing. Of course they’re happy! At least the adult preschoolers are (we hope) potty trained.

We’re doomed.

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