Archive for October, 2012

Set to a song sung by Adele:

Any further comment would be… pointless. Res ipsa loquitur.

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Remember the old Starkist tuna commercials wherein a tuna named Charlie was desperate to become canned tuna for Starkist, yet every time he’d be passed up with a “Sorry Charlie?”

Well, if Charlie felt dissed back then, being passed over for a human would really leave him …er… “steamed:”

Worker cooked to death at California tuna plant

SANTA FE SPRINGS, Calif. (AP) — Authorities say a 62-year-old employee was cooked to death at a Southern California seafood plant for tuna maker Bumble Bee Foods.

The Whittier Daily News reports (http://bit.ly/TmJFyv ) Jose Melena was found shortly before 7 a.m. Thursday at the plant in Santa Fe Springs.

Erika Monterroza is a spokeswoman for the California Division of Occupational Safety and Health. She says it’s unclear how the man ended up inside a cooking device called a “steamer machine.”

Sorry, Charlie.

(I think I’ll pass on the tuna salad today…)

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What is it with Florida?

Man dies after live roach-eating contest in Fla.

The winner of a roach-eating contest in South Florida died shortly after downing dozens of the live bugs as well as worms, authorities said Monday.

About 30 contestants ate the insects during Friday night’s contest at Ben Siegel Reptile Store in Deerfield Beach about 40 miles north of Miami. The grand prize was a python.

Edward Archbold, 32, of West Palm Beach became ill shortly after the contest ended and collapsed in front of the store, according to a Broward Sheriff’s Office statement released Monday. He was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. Authorities were waiting for results of an autopsy to determine a cause of death.

“Unless the roaches were contaminated with some bacteria or other pathogens, I don’t think that cockroaches would be unsafe to eat,” said Michael Adams, professor of entomology at the University of California at Riverside, who added that he has never heard of someone dying after consuming roaches. “Some people do have allergies to roaches,” he said, “but there are no toxins in roaches or related insects.”

None of the other contestants became ill, the sheriff’s office said.

They had no chance to become ill; their brains were in shock, screaming “MY GOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??”

Of course, if this were a Call of Cthulhu adventure, the guy would never have died. He would have gone home, visited with friends. gone to work, and then split open in a staff meeting, the hollow shell of his flesh disgorging thousands of cockroaches. With everyone around him going insane, of course.

And then… Why are you looking at me like that?

PS: I don’t want anyone in Florida saying California is weird, ever again.

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