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Archive for the ‘Weirdness’ Category

Fire hazard?

No, someone did not feed old Dobbin jalapeños. But New York City is now known as a place where horse manure spontaneously combusts:

Environmental authorities in New York state hot and dry weather conditions caused a large pile of horse poop to spontaneously burst into flames.

The state Department of Environmental Conservation said an officer responded to the town of Throop on July 5 to investigate complaints about a foul odor and smell coming from a large pile of burning horse manure.

The officer discovered the owners of a stable had been storing the horse feces in large piles. The owners said the piles had spontaneously combusted before, but previously the smells and smoke had been carried away from nearby residences by the wind.

Talk about a crappy neighborhood…

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science-clipart-life-science-clipart

Because… why not?

SCIENCE!!

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Best left alone?

Best left alone?

I mean, it’s just asking for trouble:

And speaking of Pluto’s features, NASA scientists are now giving unofficial names to some of the things they’ve spotted — names they can submit to the International Astronomical Union for official approval. They’re sticking with the trend of underworld creatures and gods — Pluto, after all, was the Roman god of the underworld — and have tentatively named a previously observed dark, whale-shaped splotch (just to the left of the broken heart) after “Cthulhu,” the dark deity invented by author H.P. Lovecraft. Described as part man, part dragon, and part octopus, Cthulhu has gained something of a cult following in the Internet age.

Okay, so Cthulhu is supposed to be trapped under the Pacific, where he lies dreaming, but what if R’lyeh was really located on a dark plane on a dark planet at the far edge of the Solar System, and Lovecraft was trying to spare us the sanity-blasting truth? And what if this awakens him… er…. it?

Yeah. We’re doomed.

PS: Let us enjoy this moment while forgiving the article’s author his apparently weak knowledge of all things Cthulhuoid. First, he’s never been described as “part dragon,” though he does have wings as I recall, and an octopoidal head. But he is definitely not a god. Nyarlathotep, Azathoth, and Hastur are gods. The Big C is “merely” a Great Old One, himself a servant of the gods.

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stripper

Also does weddings and bar-mitzvahs

 

Look, everyone is sad at a funeral, okay? So why not cheer everyone up with strippers and a live sex show?

Chinese officials are launching a campaign to crack down on stripteases and other lewd shows that have become popular at funerals in some rural areas, the Ministry of Culture said Thursday.

The ministry said in a statement that it will tighten control over rural culture, where vulgar performances have been thriving because of a general lack of cultural events.

Such erotic performances at funerals are a relatively new phenomenon. Many rural people believe that a large attendance at funerals is a sign of honor for the deceased, and the shows are used to attract more people and display the family’s prosperity.

The funerals also are a rare occasion for crowds to gather as villagers working as migrant workers in industrial centers return home to bury the deceased.

(…)

In the last several months, people who have returned to their rural homes for funerals have complained on social media about lewd shows, remarking that troupes hired to play dirges suddenly changed their tune and began to peel off their clothes.

There are kill-joys in every crowd, y’know? I’m sure the stripteases and sex acts were performed will all the dignity the occasion merited.

Ahem.

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"You want me to wear what?"

“You want me to wear what?”

Although a straw doll is not quite the way I would find to deal with the loneliness….

A kinky Argentinian man croaked while having sex with a scarecrow that he dressed in lipstick and a wig — and strapped a sex toy on, according to reports.

Jose Alberto, 58, was found dead in his San Jose de Balcare home, lying next to the straw doll, the Irish Mirror reported.

“There were no signs of violence, and we are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow,” police spokesman Rodolfo Moure told the publication.

The deprived sex fiend, who tended to sheep, had puffed up the scarecrow with clothes and tied a 6-inch strap-on penis to it, reports said.

They found him after things got a bit… “stinky.”

What a way to go.

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Remember, they're paying for this.

Remember, they’re paying for this.

(Photo credit: ABC/Barcroft Media/Landov)

First it was cuddle prostitution therapy, now it’s a place where adults can go to pretend they’re in nursery school again — and pay for the privilege of acting like toddlers:

The Brooklyn-based Preschool Mastermind, as it’s called, is a preschool-type experience for adults. No, really. And according to its founder, there’s show-and-tell, arts-and-crafts such as finger paint, games (think musical chairs) and even naps.

“I realized all the implications of what we learn in preschool,” said founder Michelle Joni, who said she went to school for childhood education and always wanted to be a preschool teacher. “People come here and get in touch with their inner child. It’s magical.”

(…)

Adult preschool — not unlike New York City’s preschool’s for children, doesn’t come cheap. Payment for the class is on a sliding scale ranging from $333 to $999. Joni said that “preschool is all about choice. I want them [the students] to feel good about the choice they’re making.”

I’m not so sure how good I’d feel about myself for paying almost a thousand dollars to finger-paint and take naps. I can do that at home for free.

Oh and, yes, there are “Parent-Teacher” meetings.

Next week there’s a field trip. Then the last week of class is “parent day” when the students bring two adults of their choice to class. One woman is actually bringing her parents.

Some people’s daughters grow up to raise a family and have a career. Maybe a doctor, a small business owner, a senator. Others hit their twenties and decide they miss preschool. I bet her parents are just thrilled.

What am I saying? This is New York City, where diaper-less babies are a thing. Of course they’re happy! At least the adult preschoolers are (we hope) potty trained.

We’re doomed.

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When his children can leap out of the water, hunt you down, and drag you away…

From the article:

This here video of an octopus exploding out of the shallows, moonwalking on land, grabbing a crab, and pulling it back underwater was shot in Australia just days ago, which means that there’s a good chance this very octopus and others like it are still alive, which means that you and I and all of our loved ones are in danger.

I am never going near the surf again…

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