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Posts Tagged ‘sex’

"You want me to wear what?"

“You want me to wear what?”

Although a straw doll is not quite the way I would find to deal with the loneliness….

A kinky Argentinian man croaked while having sex with a scarecrow that he dressed in lipstick and a wig — and strapped a sex toy on, according to reports.

Jose Alberto, 58, was found dead in his San Jose de Balcare home, lying next to the straw doll, the Irish Mirror reported.

“There were no signs of violence, and we are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow,” police spokesman Rodolfo Moure told the publication.

The deprived sex fiend, who tended to sheep, had puffed up the scarecrow with clothes and tied a 6-inch strap-on penis to it, reports said.

They found him after things got a bit… “stinky.”

What a way to go.

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It must get lonely in Iceland

An Icelandic expert tells us that sex with Elves is much better than sex with mere humans:

Here’s how it works. These so-called elves or “hidden people” find horny men or women who are out alone wandering the deserted moon craters or whatever and appear to them. These are not your run-of-the-mill, gnome-like creatures; these elfin people are tall and beautiful and emit a certain kind of light from their skin. If you are not sold already, I should mention that they are also great at dirty talk, able to sexually read your mind, extremely flexible, masters at oral sex, and allegedly give you the orgasm of your life every single time. Maybe that’s what Bjork is always singing about?

Click for video of the interview. Rated Hard-R for graphic language, if you’re the sensitive type.

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