Only, please, I beg you, tell me he didn’t give it mouth-to-mouth:
Police report attempt to revive flattened opossum
A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate “a road-killed opossum,” state police say.
But this was one possum who wasn’t playing possum — the ugly creature remained dead.
Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report.
Several witnesses observed Wolfe’s failed resurrection of the flattened marsupial, police said. It was not immediately clear how he endeavored to restore the possum’s life.
At least he did his part for inter-species relations.